Ten Things to do to take charge of your body, life and heart

How do you lead life to the fullest with minimal sacrifices and be happy?

You can’t achieve everything that you yearn in life, be it in whatever aspect, so how to do you reap opportunities to maximise your happiness?

What is happiness?

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

Here are 10 things to do to take charge of your body, life and heart, to help you look and feel better, because when you feel look better (in your perspective) you would inevitably feel better, isn’t it?

Health (Physical/Psychological)

Exercise

The importance of health need not be further emphasized. Regular exercise not only helps you to shed some kilos (provided you are doing it the right way with balanced diet and all), but it is beneficial to your skin as well as your heart. With regular exercise, blood circulation flows better and hence, pumping more blood in your blood vessels. Your skin will show if you are lacking in exercise.

In addition, exercising fights fatigue and in turn improves your mental health.

Check-ups

You should check your family’s medical history and take note of these issues in your life. Go for regular health check-ups (I am guilty of not doing so myself, oops) so you have a better perspective of what is in for you in your health.

Feeling emotional for no apparent reason? Or maybe you don’t know what is bothering you? Counsel a professional and seek help.

Don’t live alone.

Diet

This is not referring to ‘going on a diet’ kind of diet. I know it’s a girl thing and I am guilty as charged. I am weighing at 43-44kg and yet still complain that I am fat every other day (although weight and BMI is not necessarily an accurate benchmark).

Incorporate more ‘health’ food into your diet. Veggies, fruits and water are your best friends.

Eat well and live well.

These ‘health’ food are also beneficial to your well-being in totality.

Be positive

Having a positive mind can change your day, or even your whole world.

Learn to reject all negative influences in life, be it a friend or even a family member. You can’t choose the latter but you can choose your friends wisely. “Birds of feather flock together”, even if you are not like them, as time passes by, influences will bound to creep in.

Say ‘No’ to things that causes you discomfort. Of course, do it practically.

Boss just threw a fit and gave you more work? Be positive and treat it as a learning journey. The more you do, the more you learn. Even if it’s somewhat a no-brainer task, work towards your efficiency.

Beauty

If time permits, pamper yourself with beauty services or even aesthetic treatments. Go for a relaxing facial or spa, or beautify your nails with manicure/pedicure services. As aesthetic services and treatments are currently trending, why not consider temporary ‘modification’ to your appearance if plastic surgery is not your cup of tea?

You may explore the world of cosmetics. If you are already a make-up enthusiast, research and watch videos of make-up tutorials, and try stuffs which you haven’t try before.

Lastly, don’t forget the importance of maintaining a good skincare regime after all those piling up of makeup. The basic 3-step approach (cleanse-tone-moisturise) should never leave your sight.

Career

Are you the type that likes challenges? Want to climb the corporate ladder? Yearn to win the rat race?

Show your boss that you are an asset at work, to him and to the whole company as a whole! Be proactive. Learn more, expand your portfolio, volunteer to help out. Upgrade yourself by attending workshops and going for courses.

Most jobs require experience. With the knowledge equipped from school, together with experience, comes wisdom.

Jobs that require on-the-job training like mine, as a Legal Counsel, make sure you know your work well, which you can help yourself by reading up. I am doing just that.

Love

Appreciation

Show your appreciation to your loved ones. Don’t take them for granted. Cherish them while you still can and not regret later when you lack the opportunity to.

Think about how you would feel if someone shows their appreciation towards you. You will feel whatever sacrifices you have to do or done will be all worthwhile.

A simple gesture of appreciation can be carried out through compliments.

Listen

Women. Most of us tend to be the one yakking away non-stop (I think it just runs in our feminine blood, ain’t it?) while the men listen. Or try to.

Take a step back, give your men the chance to voice out his thoughts and inner feelings. Most men do not like to share stuffs and tend to keep within themselves (runs in their masculine blood – sometimes just known as ‘E-G-O’, as opening up to their inner world may portray their weaknesses). So what you can do is to encourage your man to speak up. Pay attention to what he say to say and don’t interrupt unnecessarily.

You will find that this helps in the flow of communication and create better understanding between you two.

Make this a habit. Not just with your partner, but to your friend or family member.

Ask them how is their day and mean it by listening to whatever they has to say.

Make time for each other

Been too busy lately that you cannot even recall when was your last date?

Overwhelmed with work or studies?

Too many other commitments?

Then you will need to reflect on your priorities and time-management skills.

Everyone has 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

You write your own story.

Loyalty

With that, comes the trust.

Trust is very easily broken, especially so when it has been broken repeatedly.

If you have broken someone’ trust previously, learn how to rebuild it.

Be patient and understand your partner’s feelings, thoughts and actions.

As the saying goes, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.”

Always be faithful to your partner and provide them with utmost assurance and security.

***

Phew, I cannot believe that I wrote all of the above by myself.

*pats own back*

And for that, I’m feeling accomplished and happy! 😀

Happy 6th Anniversary to us!

We turned 6 yesterday – 9th March.

6 years ago, we became a couple officially and fast forward 6 years to date, we have grown so much individually and together. Naturally, there were ups and downs throughout these 6 years and conflicts are natural and common when 2 people come together. Differences are bound to exist. When your love is strong, you would try and embrace these differences rather than to avoid and blame all fault on them. It will be the same for anyone and everyone and even with your next partner.

No doubt there were times where both of us felt like giving up half way but we stayed rooted to our beliefs and feelings for each other and persevered to date. There were both internal and external factors that attempted to ripped us apart into pieces and begone I say to all those negativities, including outsiders. There would always be fkers who try and destroy your happiness just so they feel good about themselves or that they are just plain sadist psychos.

And another issue is that, some people are just too quick to judge and jump into conclusions based on groundless assumptions. They think that I’m this, this, this type of person or that he is that, that, that kind of character. But little do they know, what they thought they knew may or may not make up an insignificant percentage of the truth. And another thing is that I totally cannot tolerate nosey parkers. Why can’t you just mind your own business? Some poked their noses into people’s business just so they can compare their “social standing”. Whatever okay? Imbalanced imbeciles.

Anyway, I wouldn’t say he is perfect, neither would I claim that I am too, and bearing in mind the notion that “Nobody is perfect”, no one body should be either. Obstacles are what strengthen bonds and relationships, and further deepen feelings and ties. We may have had our fair share of unhappy moments but I cannot deny the fact that I do enjoy every happy moment and memory we once had and would continue to have.

No matter how angry we are with each other, at the end of the day, what is most assuring is that we know that we still have each other to hold and that we will always be there for each other. That has always been our beliefs and faith in one another.

We may not express our love and affection much in the public, except for maybe on social media such as Facebook once in a while, but we are 100% certain of the love we have for one another.

One similarity we have is that we avoid displaying public of affection, otherwise known as “PDA” (Public Display of Affection) because we respect each other, respect those around us be it our families or friends and totally just cannot tolerate those “touchy” couples who cannot seem to get their hands or mouth off each other. Not sure if these couples even have the dignity to feel ashamed but if I were their friend, I would feel damn awkward which I have experienced a few times. Please, just go get a room okay?

Okay, rants aside. Now into the happy things! 😀

So for this very special occasion, compared to Valentine’s Day, we headed to Phuket together 🙂

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Isn’t it beautiful??? ❤

Will blog about the whole trip on Phuket another time so stay tuned if you wanna know which hotel did we resided at, cheap hotels to recommend, good reviews of hotels, food, drinks…shopping, where to go in Phuket etc!

After uploading pictures on our Facebook, we have had received some queries pertaining the same from some of our friends, so yes…because you will need to do your homework, i.e. research before embarking on your journey, do keep your eyes peeled for the coming posts!

I just hope that I will have the time to document all of them holistically, perhaps dividing them out into few posts, but I am currently just so swamped with work, backlogs of articles for MFP, advertorials….so please be patient with me alrighty! 😀

I decided to splurge a little more this time round since it was a very special occasion for us both and gotten him 3 presents! And also especially since he has been very prompt in getting me presents for xmas, bday and valentine's day…I thought it was time to buck up as a gf and surprise him x3!!! Hahaha!

What I got for him :

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The scrapbook contains many wonderful memories of the past 6 years and yes, the contents will be kept private for our our eyes to see. 😉

What he got for me :

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I am extremely happy to receive this classic Tiffany & Co bracelet because it has always been on my wish list! I am not really a fan of Pandora because I have no idea what the current hype is all about…and the jacked up prices is just so ridiculous!! No offence to those Pandora lovers but in my honest opinion, it is more worthwhile to get Tiffany & Co than Pandora since T&C has been a more established brand than the former, 1837 vs 1982 and it was already much more popular before all the Pandora craze happened, which I believe would die down in time to come.

So yes, we had a very enjoyable short getaway at Phuket to celebrate our anniversary this year 🙂 ❤

Last but not least, I LOVE YOU DEAR AND CHEERS TO MANY MORE HAPPY YEARS TOGETHER!!!

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Psst, for those who have been asking about our marriage plans, nope, there aren’t any concrete ones on hand now because the bf is currently swamped up by work and studies and whereas for me on the other hand, I will be graduating with my Masters soon but marriage is not in mind yet either because career-minded me wants to build up and expand my portfolio first while advancing and climbing the corporate ladder. So please do us a favour and stop asking…

Valentine’s Day Celebration!

Phew! It has been quite a busy week for me with all the CNY and Valetine’s Day celebrations. So much so that my dark circles are getting the better of me. In actual fact, they are taking over my life. 😦

On a cheery note, let me recap on what’s in for me on V Day 4 days ago! 🙂

Bf reserved a table for two at Beach Cabana (location stated in the menu below) early this Feb during  1 of his friend’s bday celebration.

I would say it’s quite value for money! 🙂

Here’s the menu :

Bf took the steak while I had the fish. 2 reasons for my choice was because firstly, I’m more of a fish over steak person and secondly, I can’t chew well with my braces.

The food tasted acceptably well and satisfactory.

Ambience-wise, it was ok. Located at East Coast Park, you can expect sea breeze and dining in an outdoor experience. Only thing was, it was raining. I mean almost the whole of Feb was pouring and still continuing to do so! It’s really a hassle when you intend to head out during this CNY period as well. And worse is, CABS ARE ALMOST NON-EXISTENT!!!

Back to topic, we witnessed a toad hopping around the cafe, but it was alright because it seemed harmless and it was about 1m away from us.

We were welcomed with a bouquet of roses at the table.

Bf didn’t get me any flowers because not all girls expect them on Vday, you know? Moreover, he did present me a bouquet of blue roses for our V day last year 🙂

We think that it’s such a waste of money because they don’t last and usually, keep dried flowers attract icky insects and eventually they would have to be thrown away. Totally not worth it.

In addition, we merely had this simple V Day dinner together and agreed not to buy any gifts for each other. We would rather spend it on our upcoming 5th Anniversary! 🙂

Guess that’s more private, personal and special to us than the commercialised day on 14th Feb 🙂

I had champagne while bf had white wine. Not really a fan of wine. The white wine tasted like a mixture of beer and liquor together. But since bf said wines are beneficial to health, I took some several sips. Haha!

We were first served with our appetizers. Scallops and cream of mushroom soup! You may refer to the menu above for the actual full name.

Both tasted good. Was satisfied 🙂

Close-up view of the scallops!

The only thing that annoyed me a little was that the shell was broken and a piece of its remnant was hidden with the sauce and scallop meat and I had chewed on it. Other than that, they were fine, though too little in quantity, haha!

And before our mains arrived, we toasted and cheered for our everlasting love! 🙂

Here comes bf’s steak with pepper sauce. The beady balls are pepper. I preferred his mushroom than mine.

The beef was quite chewy and was served as well-done as requested. But I had a little difficulty in chewing it completely before swallowing it down.

Portion was alright but don’t expect those thick slab ones.

And this is my main dish.

It was rather small in portion. The asparagus were alright, not too hard in my opinion. My mushrooms were a tad too little for one’s consumption and they were sauteed and dried, instead of those served with bf’s main.

This was the dessert – named Coffee Panna Cotta. This was the main disappointment I faced. It was quite small, though I didn’t manage to finish it. It tasted like mousse cake sort of texture and softness. The brown seed was a coffee seed. I wasn’t very satisfied by ending my dinner with this.

Realised we didn’t manage to snap a picture of V Day but decorated 1 of our CNY pics anyway 🙂

Thank you for the wonderful Valetine’s Day dinner as well as our quality time well-spent! 🙂

I hope your Valetine’s Day was as fabulous as mine!

For all those singles out there, fret not. Don’t rush into any relationships just because you are feeling lonely or left out.

Take your time to understand the other party before committing to prevent complications.

MyFatPocket – Sex & Love section offers a wide range of related topics in their articles which you may want to read.

Here are some of my picks.

Dont be a Victim of Date Rape Drugs

Is he Good Enough for you? Take the Tests to Find out!

10 Common Relationship Problems Couples Face

How to Survive Valentine’s Day after a Break up

When does a Man LOVE a Woman?

Celebrity Couples Who Stood The Test of Time

Never Say I Love You First

Should a Summer Fling Stay a Summer Fling?

How to Flirt with your Eyes and get his Full Attention

Realist vs Romantic: Dead End Relationships

Enjoy reading! 🙂

Love,

Jean

Singaporeans afraid of the ‘M’ word?

It’s definitely not Money.

Unless  if it’s the inadequacy you’re talking about.

But the ‘M’ word is none other than…

MARRIAGE.

It is a known fact that Marriage is a big thing,  which is certainly not a child’s play.

My inspiration for this entry post was actually sparked off by these articles.

Runaway brides in Singapore: Janice’s story (part 1)

Runaway brides of Singapore: Picking up the pieces (Part two)

Why S’pore couples are delaying marriage: survey

Article 1 and 2 were written by my bestie’s sister in law by the way, which talks about a real-life experience of a couple, where the supposed bride-to-be backs out 5 days before their wedding.

Apart from this typical scenario where ‘pre-wedding jitters’ comes in as a very handy excuse, doesn’t this very much reminds us of the recent saga about a famous (currently infamous) blogger who is alleged to be the third party/home-wrecker of a couple who was supposed to get married? Their marriage was called off 2 months before the actual day and this blogger who goes by the initials of ZR destroyed their fairytale story?

Hmm, so what is it? Is ‘pre-wedding jitters’ / ‘I’m not ready’ really common excuses?

Or is it due to third-parties behind the scene?

If you’d read the 1st 2 articles on Yahoo! News, you would know that the marriage was an agreement to formalise and legalise the relationship (I mean who doesn’t know of this?), but what is most painful is the reason behind this agreement.

Is it love or is it not?

 

Government’s housing policies, especially for Build-to-Order (BTO) schemes

Most couples have cited ‘BTO housing’ as the main reason to get hitched because compared to the past, BTOs did exist but they took a much longer time to complete, whereas for now, these HDB flats are known to be built as ‘Lego Blocks’. The completion and possession date for all the projects are not accurate and in the recent projects shown, more and more BTOs complete way earlier than the estimated one.

I was thinking, an ‘estimation’ should be very far off from the actual date right?

But no, it is said that BTOs are now completed within approx 2.5 to 3 years, whereas the stipulated estimated completion date has a grace period of about 4 years and some even 5 to 6, as the case is for the recent BTO in Sept 2012 last year for the sizzling hot AMK projects.

But one should also know that there is an interim period between the completion and possession date, and that is the time taken by HDB to conduct proper checks and surveys on the completed flats, to ensure that everything is of quality standard (but owners of these flats who have had bad experience would beg to differ) before they deliver the keys to the new flat owners. Logically, if the flats are completed earlier, the possession date would be pushed forward as well, and that is when the couple has to be legally married before they possess the flat, i.e. take the keys.

Just take this as a typical example and life of a young Singaporean couple.

A and B are both currently undergraduates and would typically be in the age range of 21 to 25 if they have pursued their university education right after their jc/poly days and after serving NS for the men and because the stereotypical ‘ideal’ age to marry is 25 to 30 (Correct me if I’m wrong, people), especially for women, such young student couple commit to getting a flat.

In all seriousness, getting a flat together is a sign of wanting to settle down and what is meant by ‘settling down’ equates to tying the knot, which can only mean one thing – M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E.

Of course, you can back out/opt out/cancel this ‘commitment’ anytime you want, but bearing in mind of the risks involved. These risks include the costs incurred which varies depending on which stage of the commitment you are at, for example, if you have selected a flat from the BTO scheme, you would have to pay the option fees (2k for 4-5room which is popular amongst youths) and by cancelling the selected flat, you would have to forfeit the option fees as well as face a 1-yr debarment. This means that you can’t participate in any BTO/Sale of Balance exercise for one year which commences from the date of cancellation. Come the same cancellation twice, you will lose your first-timer status and drop to a second-timer status. For those who have no idea, this simply means your chances of getting a good queue number to select a flat is minimized and sometimes, you wouldn’t stand any chance at all if your queue number excessively exceeds the available no. of units.

Also extracted from the articles from Yahoo! News, couples who opt for BTO schemes are more likely to cancel their selected flat than those who opted for resale ones, since the latter does not take much time for completion and couples can move over within a shorter time period.

Government grants

Another issue with regards to this BTO scheme that urges / ‘forces’ young couples to commit at an earlier age than what they are mentally prepared for is the Additional Housing Grant (AHG). This is different from the usual CPF grant which is only applicable to resale flats. Young couples who have a combined income of less than $5k would be eligible for the AHG, however, the amount of grant varies for different income range.

This too has another implication – the earlier you apply when you are merely starting out as a fresh graduate, the higher the grant you will be entitled to. I have read the fresh graduates jumped the gun to apply because they are afraid that their joint income would exceed the max limit of $5k. Even worse still, I have read on forums that both applicants are currently still undergraduates. =O

Emotions are one thing, but practicality is another.

Financially, unless you have someone to pay the $$$ for you or willing to be a credible guarantor, don’t even think about it. Furthermore, HDB might not even be willing to loan any amount to you since you have no proper jobs. Part-time jobs such as tutoring requires evidence to prove that you are truly employed as a tutor, by submitting documents in black and white.

Any speculations of future careers/salaries are just merely speculations attaches an inaccuracy and are not absolute.

As the saying goes, “There is no free lunch in this world” and true enough, bear in mind of the resale levy you will have to pay if you purchase a flat directly from HDB in the future or from an open market with CPF housing grant, if your 1st flat was a new flat from HDB or resale flat with housing grant. Hence, regardless of the amount granted to you, for a 4-room flat, the resale levy is $40k.

So typically, a young couple  who have already booked a flat from the BTO scheme and who might already have paid the downpayment (can be 5 or 10% – staggered downpayment scheme (5%) is available for young couples – at least 1 must be below 30 years old) would have to consider all these financial issues if they would want to cancel the selected flat.

Marriage costs/Furniture costs/Renovation costs

So let’s say the young couple made it to the completion of the flat, but more financial woes come creeping in.

There is a ‘deadline’ for a marriage cert to be submitted, which simply means to register and legalise your marriage, commonly known as Registry-of-Marriage (ROM). Thereafter, you would be recognised as a legally wedded couple under the eyes of the law.

ROM nowadays is not simply to just head down to the Registry of Marriage to enter into a marriage contract (pathetic it sounds, I know) and pay a small sum of $26.00 (it was only $10 in the past as informed by my colleagues). Because most Singaporeans love to hold their heads high and wed in pride (for face la), they wouldn’t head down to the ROM for a simple register. ROMs can be held at anywhere, commonly at hotels, parks, beaches, churches etc with a recognised Justice of Peace (JP) and on top of the charges of these location and the number of tables, food etc, red packets are usually given to JPs as a token of appreciation.

But I must note that recently, due to the high costs involved, many couples are doing away with customary weddings (for Chinese) or are holding their ROMs together with their wedding dinner, for example, having ROM at 6pm and cocktail receptions at 7pm and dinner to start thereafter at 7.30pm.

I think that is a great idea but that must also mean you must show hands at that point of time. Due to the ‘deadline’ given by HDB, you need to submit your marriage cert but if you were to do it together, you must have sufficient funds to fund your wedding dinner, isn’t it? And would you hold it at a simple chinese restaurant, do away with the wedding dinner and have simple ROM lunch (because lunches is cheaper than dinners) or hold it at a reputable hotel banquet? Plus, yes it’s a once in a lifetime thing.

But some beg to differ because they believe that having sufficient funds for future usage or other purposes such as furniture, children etc seems to be more practical than to throw all your eggs into one basket.

I know these concerns due to my own personal research as well as to read what forumers say.

Prices of Houses

If this has not been one of the many concerns or should I say, complaints, that you read which are directed at the Govt, then a warm welcome back from Mars.

The price hikes have been on the rise and still is currently due to a simple economic reason – high demand and low supply.

Apart from the competition with FTs (for houses, for spouses (men in particular!), for work, for transport spaces…), PRs can now apply for flat too but 1 of them must be a Singaporean (although I might be wrong on this because I’ve not done any research on FTs,PRs…zzz).

It makes me wonder how contradictory it is for the Government to urge Singaporeans to reproduce but without any more land/space left in this tiny little island of ours. Plus, lots of speculations state that an increase in birth rate wouldn’t occur anytime soon. But just a food for thought, if for example, Singaporeans do reproduce rapidly like cats/dogs/mice, would the Govt then chase away the FTs who have been ‘invited’ over to Singapore just to compensate for the low population? I highly doubt so.

The third article adequately deals with all these problems in the initial part of the article.

Taking this discussion or monologue for that matter to further heights, that third article also deals with the reason in the delay of having children. The main reason – costs, and that is apart from the nightmares one go through during parenthood – which is another lifetime commitment, well unless the parent disown/abandon his/her kids.

For now, apart from other reasons such as career first marriage later, can’t find suitable partner/spouse/, still too young for marriage, I am mainly interested in the housing policies which creates a chain-effect of social problems stated above. I would most prolly leave the other pressing issues for another time.

The Govt must also take into consideration that ‘forcing’ couples to commit early or earlier than they are mentally prepared might backfire at the end of the day. Problems arise and lots of couples find it difficult to settle down peacefully and look at divorce as the only way out, which only leads to a delay in childbirth.

With such contradictions, social policies targeting at social problems have proved to be TAKING ONE STEP FORWARD AND TWO STEPS BACK which cynics have been good at pointing out at.

***

Alright, guess this is quite alot to digest on a lazy Friday afternoon, isn’t it?

All those holiday mood/festive seasons/TGIF feel is causing my incoherence and clogging my poor brain with one too many thoughts.

I wish you well this TGIF and the coming weekend.

And thanks for reading this lengthy post! 🙂

xoxo,

Jean