Hello! Here is another personal entry that is closer to my heart than just reviews and advertorials…
A short introduction on how I’d picked up make-up.
Like all of us, before entering into the world of make-up fantasy, I was a geek too.
Okay, maybe not like a geek-geek but less attractive than now and of course, fatter and tanned then. I did not have long luscious hair as well. That was in my late teens and early 20s and was also when I had met my bf. Recalling how I’d looked does really crack us up sometimes, but with my rolling my eyes at him, mocking my fashion sense, or the lack of it and how I look so different from now. Of course, he was also part of the reason why I turned to makeup and ways to keep myself looking great! 😛
Use some imagination because I don’t think I’ll post pictures of me previously. HAHA.
But if you know me personally or seen me in person, then…. good for you! 😀
So, how has make-up affected me?
Cliche as it sounds but I’m sure you have heard of this saying that “There is no ugly women only lazy ones” isn’t it? But a rebuttal of “Beauty is only skin-deep” also comes into mind and those rely on make-up to boost their confidence and ‘feel’/’look’ prettier/more appealing and attractive are condemned as being superficial.
Whatever it is, I don’t see why make-up is seen in such negative light if it makes one feel good about themselves. With confidence, you feel good on the outside and inside as well, no? Okay, to be fair, you may be an ugly monster inside whose heart is as black as charcoal etc but let’s keep that aside, shall we?
I feel more confident with make-up on and definitely feel more attractive (I’m not saying that I am…). Feeling and really is are 2 different issues altogether.
But that also brings me to the next point of losing confidence, without make-up on.
I think most girls might feel the same way as I do since make-up helps to ‘beautify’ your features and improve your appearance (not considering the fact how some girls ‘uglify’ themselves via poor makeup skills and concealing their features instead of enhancing them).
And then some people end up looking like this :
Because I’m so used to putting makeup on, there was even once I had to even doll up myself when I merely had to head down to bf’s house neighbourhood. And then bf was quite annoyed by the fact that I dolled up for no apparent reason.
Then it hit me.
Why am I feeling so insecure?
Reason being, makeup really does strip you off your confidence when you don’t wear them.
We were all born naturally without any makeup or aesthetics done, so why feel ashamed or ugly without makeup?
Of course, main reason for most girls is to look beautiful and perfect infront of their bfs, and hopefully receive praises and compliments.
Who doesn’t like receiving them, especially from your loved ones, right?
Apart from being a nincompoop at times (I mean who doesn’t? Nobody’s perfect!), the bf really did touch my heart and boost my confidence each time he compliments me when I have no makeup on.
And I believe he praises me from the bottom of his heart.
Like when I just woke up with slightly oily face (combination skin) with the retarded ‘forever-not-enough-sleep’ kinda look, together with my ooh-lala breath (you mean you have sweet-smelling breath like frangipanis?!) and my unkempt mane… He’s still able to see the ‘beauty’ in me when this image is a gazillion times much worse as compared to looking fresh, smelling fresh (after bath and brushing of teeth), with neatly combed hair, but with no makeup on.
And so they said, ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’ 🙂
So I have been trying to come to terms with myself and decided that I should not bother dolling up if I was going to some nearby place, although there’s still some degree of insecurity lingering inside of me, especially when there are beautifully-dolled up girls around. At times like these, I just feel like burying my head into the ground and I can’t bring myself to look at strangers in the eye…. :'(((
Yes, I must admit that I do feel ugly without makeup on, exposing my uneven skin tone, blackheads, stubby nose, single eyelids and dark circles to the world. But thank god for eyebrow embroidery, it did raise my confidence level by a tweeny bit 🙂
But what really affects my confidence or areas on my face that I’m unhappy with are :
In this order – Single eyelids, Stubby Nose, Wide jaw/chin (underbite corrected with braces but somehow I don’t feel my jaw completely corrected) and then my sunken cheeks.
I’ve not touched on this topic before but…. I am soooo tempted to get my double eyelids done, like really really tempted so I don’t have to keep sticking fake eyelashes just to create them. Having nose fillers and derma fillers (for my visible laugh lines) have also been lingering on my mind recently. And for my sunken cheeks, I know the only way to solve the problem is through fat-grafting (transferring fats from other body parts – I HAVE ALOT TO SPARE to your cheeks).
Okay, shall save all these ‘plastic’ talk for another time.
Back to topic.
So yes, if you see me looking geeky or all auntie-like, don’t get a heart attack ok? Beauty bloggers have their own set of problems too, you know? 😉
Bottom-line is :
And for that, I’m still trying.
Addiction does not refer to building your makeup collection from this :
To this :
Although the amount of makeup (and counting) evidently portrays your addiction to makeup and there are so many girls who have uncontrollable threshold in buying makeup stuffs…thank god I’m not one of them (yet?) 😉
But this next point further highlights the previous point on confidence. Over-reliance on makeup, which may be due to lack of confidence without it, may also cause addiction towards it.
Some people just cannot leave with makeup on and I try not to be one of them.
When I was first introduced to the fantasy world of makeup, I merely explored eyeliners and fake eyelashes.
Okay, fine. Maybe concealers were the first makeup product I own back in sec/jc days, introduced by my sister. You know how puberty were still at a high during that time and pimples were popping out before you can even scream P-I-M-P-L-E-S!!!
Nah, I’m kidding. I mean I’m kidding on the exaggeration.
I am blessed with good skin though not a perfect one so I’ve never had a face filled with Rudolph’s nose(s), except when I was stressing over O-levels which I could remember so vividly. Other than that, it was more of a 1 to 2 pimples popping out at the same time during hormonal change due to menstruation or exam periods.
So I can say that I am quite lucky. I don’t have to battle with acne-prone or sensitive skin issues.
But, because of makeup and my daily usage, unless I nua at home the whole day during weekends, it becomes an addiction and somehow placing an over-reliance too.
So yes, my face is constantly painted and I feel the need to have makeup on when I’m out (save for neighbourhood areas) – which explains the overlap between the lack of confidence and addiction.
3. SKIN CONDITION
From this :
And because of makeup…
To having poorer skin condition :
It is because of the frequent constant usage of makeup, I realised that my skin condition is poorer than before compared to the days when I was still playing masak-masak instead of checking out makeup tutorials on YouTube (although quite rarely).
After exploring eyeliners and fake eyelashes, I explored deeper and got to try out other ‘essential’ makeup tools such as compact powder (tried liquid foundation once for a period of time and hated it), blushers, highlighters, more concealers, more eyeliners (from pencil to crayon to gel and now I’m in love with liquid ones), to eyebrow pencils, to shimmery eyeliners, to eyeshadows (still trying to master this perfectly), to primers (currently only own 1 Red Earth eyeshadow primer – I’ve never used a foundation base primer before) and to the recent what is known as – CONTOURING MAKEUP TOOLS (for my stubby onion-like nose).
The more stuffs you put on your face, the worse your skin condition gets. And it’s true because LESS IS MORE.
I didn’t have that many blackheads on my nose compared to the times when the word ‘makeup’ seems like a distant relative of mine.
Now, it’s like it has become a PART OF ME. :O
And there was also another incident where I broke out due to makeup, in particular, the short period of time when I was trying out liquid foundation, as mentioned above.
I am quite sure that I won’t be using liquid foundation anymore. And I have never used BB/CC/DD/ABCDEFGHAKSHWIRHGCKSZXXXX creams too.
Apart from the hassle and mess they create, since you need to use your fingers (I prefer using fingers over sponge because of the better control and blending skills), such creams clog your pores even more.
On top of that, not forgetting to set the liquid foundation using loose powder (the more stuffs added onto your face , the more your pores suffocate!).
I recall my mum commenting that my makeup is so thick because I was using liquid foundation. That’s something I don’t wish to hear because thick means… ugly and possessing wrong/bad makeup skills! And looks like a wayang/geisha.
So I’ve converted back to a compact powder user and I’m using Chanel’s Matte powder if you must know 🙂
Apart from clogged pores, I noticed my pores are bigger than before too. But to be fair enough, makeup might just be one of the contributing factor to big open pores, besides genetics, age and sun damage and me occasionally trying to squeeze out those blackheads squatting on my nose…
Although makeup helps to conceal your flaws, what is more important is the underlying skin beneath the layers of makeup.
The worse situation is to get yourself thinking you can fool the world with tonnes of makeup but deep down within yourself, you know you don’t possess that flawless perfect skin.
Plus, makeup can only conceal that much of flaws.
You can hide, but not forever.
So, are you a makeup addict?
How has makeup affected you?
Feel free to leave me comments! 🙂